The special lady in Orange’s world

Here she is. Orange’s 3 year old sister. She is his world…

We had physio today for Orange and it struck me again how hard it can be for the siblings of children with special needs. While we do try to shield her from a lot of what she’s too young to understand (but old enough to be distressed by), sometimes it’s unavoidable to have to take her along to appointments.

She tries so hard to be good when we go to physio, but she senses my anxiety about Orange and all she wants is my attention. She was quiet this afternoon. I’ve had a sinking feeling of panic and sadness all day at the thought of how all this is affecting her. My brain is whirring…

Have another child to give her a shot at a ‘normal’ sibling relationship? Should we try for another so that she has someone to share the load with if we both outlive Orange? What happens if we have another child with special needs? How would she/we cope? What if Orange’s needs get more intense and we’ve got a newborn all of a sudden? Can I face going through labour again?

I need to calm my brain down. There is no wine in the house. This is NOT good. Tea and cake after dinner I think.